It is no longer I who lives…

Since the beginning of Lent 2018, my husband, Rob and I have been going to Friday morning mass at 9:00 am.  Our daughters, Madison and Alexis also go with their school, which is right next to the church.  One regular Friday morning in our home, Alexis, Rob and I were getting ready to leave for school and mass.  Madison had slept at my parents home the night before so was not with us.  In the process of getting ready I had mindlessly moved Rob’s sunglasses from my junk basket to his.  I guess I did it in haste as I unknowingly put the sunglasses with their lenses down onto other items.  As we were leaving the house Rob noticed this and grabbed his sunglasses.  He was angry and said “oh man, who put my sunglasses face down in my basket. That was a pretty stupid thing to do!”  I instantly felt a sting within and thought “well that isn’t nice, you are basically calling me stupid!”.  Then I recognized this as being a temptation to anger, to telling him off, to defending myself because obviously I didn’t mean to do it and how dare he get mad over something so stupid as a pair of glasses.  Do I not matter more than glasses.  And I could go on but I didn’t (at least not right them and there) as I recognized this path could lead to sin and so I asked God to help me.

While I was asking God for help Alexis came running back inside the house (she and Rob had left to go to the van) upset because according to her dad was being mean.  Alexis and I went outside and out of nowhere without even thinking about it these words came out of my mouth, “so dad is mad because someone put his sunglasses face down and now he is being mean to you because he is mad.”  Rob started defending himself immediately and became defensive and angry.  He tried explaining what happened with Alexis but Alexis was yelling at dad telling him he was mean.  I saw that this was starting to get out of control so I just listened to everyone and took a breath.  We all became silent and drove to the school and church.  No one talked at all and in this silence the Lord allowed me to see what had happened through His eyes and heart.  I saw everyones sin so clearly and the damage that living in these sins can do to ourselves, others, our families, schools, churches, communities, and the world.  I had an interior vision of what life without sin would look like.  I understood that if I loved perfectly and it was no longer I who lived but it was Christ living in me I would not have put Rob’s sunglasses face down.  I would have been thinking about him and would not have led him into temptation to anger by disrespecting his things.  If Rob was Christ he would not have been so attached to his sunglasses that he would be led to anger by them.  He would not have said anything mean, hoping the person who performed this offense against him would hear and be hurt by his words of revenge.  And I would not have retaliated to his supposed offense against me by saying something mean and attacking back and Rob would not have retaliated and so on and so on.  So it is with sin.  One offense spurs on the next and a vicious cycle is created until destruction comes forth.  Satan’s ultimate goal is our absolute destruction.  The destruction of individuals, families, sex, marriage, schools, communities, countries, and the world.

So how do we break out of this vicious cycle?  Well, we become Jesus.  We abandon our wills and our lives completely to Him so that He can transform us into Himself.  As I was sitting in mass that Friday morning waiting to receive Jesus fully into myself I was aware of this transformation going on in myself.  The Lord showed me so clearly how I was becoming like Him.  I realized that I am seeing things differently, with new eyes.  With HIS eyes!!  I have more insight, knowledge, understanding and wisdom.  I do not think or act the way I did before because I am becoming Christ.  The Lord showed me what was of me and what was Him shinning through in this incidents of that morning.    I know without a doubt that one day when the Lord has completed His work in me there will be no me left and everything I do and say will be Him.  And I can speak boldly about this because I know it is not by my own power this is happening but by the power of the Holy Spirit.  He has accomplished this in so many others why would He not accomplish it in me.  I have every confidence that Christ will finish what He has started in me so that I can go to heaven and be united with Him for all eternity.  You see, only Christ can enter heaven, not our fallen nature, not disorder or sin.  If we do not become Christ here on earth then we must become Him in purgatory.  We must be transformed and purified before we enter heaven, period.  In purgatory the suffering is so much greater because we don’t have Jesus there with us.  Here we have access to Jesus everyday if we so choose, in the Eucharist.  It is when we receive Jesus in the Eucharist that we most closely resemble Him in His entirety.  BODY, BLOOD, SOUL AND DIVINITY.

Can you imagine a world where everyone was Jesus!!  There would be no hatred, anger, despair, anxiety, fighting, corruption, wars, killing, starvation, etc.  It would be a world without sin, without disorder and decay.  It would be heaven on earth.  Full of love, sacrifice, kindness, joy, peace, hope, and fullness of life.  This my dear brothers and sisters in Christ will one day come to pass when Jesus comes again in power and sets up His kingdom on the new earth where we will be in our glorified bodies.  Oh what a glorious day that will be!  To see Jesus in all His glory sitting on His throne.  There with His Father and the Holy Spirit.  The Holy Trinity.  One God.


Pray to the Lord today and ask Him to transform you into Himself.  Pray that He will give you the grace to abandon yourself fully to His will and trust in His mercy and love.  It will not fail you.  He will not fail you.  Believe it and let go of control.  There is nothing to be afraid of.

May God bless you all this day and may the Peace of Christ fill you to the brim and overflow into the world.  Amen.


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